there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
