Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize