I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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