i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
