She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
