I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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