i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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