Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
