my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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