she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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