I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
