halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
you made out with another girl for some wings
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
