Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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