The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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