it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
