You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
