i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
