i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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