Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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