yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize