I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
