I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize