I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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