between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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