we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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