guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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