This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
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Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
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Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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