I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
