Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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