Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
