Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I think my fart just growled at me.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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