I just cut my nipple shaving
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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