I need help removing her.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
