ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just had sex on a roof
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
