Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
