im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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