I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
