hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
