There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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