dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
