Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
