i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
