im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
