Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
