I'm gonna have a badass scar
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
