Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth