Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand

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  (215): it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand http://tfl.nu/1wqs
  Replies (11) Good night (4045) Bad night (775)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do

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  (203): But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do http://tfl.nu/ke2v
  Replies (19) Good night (5123) Bad night (1480)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.

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  (407): sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch. http://tfl.nu/v1iz
  Replies (47) Good night (12356) Bad night (1431)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.

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  (727): I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now. http://tfl.nu/6a5q
  Replies (17) Good night (1029) Bad night (4178)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.

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  (775): It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/xv2l
  Replies (11) Good night (2166) Bad night (1644)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on

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  (210): i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on http://tfl.nu/7n7l
  Replies (9) Good night (2979) Bad night (1270)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.

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  (773): You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend. http://tfl.nu/u6sb
  Replies (7) Good night (2902) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  Why?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."

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  (609): My professor just gave us a margarita recipe. (1-609): Why? (609): Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life." http://tfl.nu/ong0
  Replies (12) Good night (3405) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.

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  (917): She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for. http://tfl.nu/k05b
  Replies (7) Good night (3793) Bad night (745)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason

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  (541): I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason http://tfl.nu/z5wn
  Replies (26) Good night (772) Bad night (1849)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas

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  (740): I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas http://tfl.nu/8zhl
  Replies (3) Good night (2075) Bad night (805)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.

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  (610): I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real. http://tfl.nu/qhs0
  Replies (8) Good night (647) Bad night (1280)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.

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  (330): listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life. http://tfl.nu/0xlf
  Replies (9) Good night (1465) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport

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  (415): God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport http://tfl.nu/tt1b
  Replies (3) Good night (383) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis

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  (952): Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis http://tfl.nu/o9uq
  Replies (1) Good night (423) Bad night (294)

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