Fuck appropriateness.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
