Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.

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  (419): I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl. http://tfl.nu/cxal
  Replies (23) Good night (1509) Bad night (1163)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.

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  (312): Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good. http://tfl.nu/1om1
  Replies (82) Good night (3403) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....

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  (317): I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up.... http://tfl.nu/s81o
  Replies (66) Good night (13142) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.

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  (270): you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it. http://tfl.nu/hzy8
  Replies (33) Good night (12599) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet

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  (847): I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet http://tfl.nu/ttdp
  Replies (41) Good night (5396) Bad night (1506)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.

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  (480): I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop. http://tfl.nu/wrzz
  Replies (15) Good night (1617) Bad night (5355)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict

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  (860): you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict http://tfl.nu/am6o
  Replies (11) Good night (2404) Bad night (2078)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.

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  (317): You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour. http://tfl.nu/7a2s
  Replies (4) Good night (2985) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.

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  (407): Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills. http://tfl.nu/wclx
  Replies (9) Good night (1479) Bad night (2020)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS

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  (630): I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS http://tfl.nu/zymg
  Replies (7) Good night (2324) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.

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  (425): We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party. http://tfl.nu/nzty
  Replies (5) Good night (1687) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.

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  (515): Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad. http://tfl.nu/2fcz
  Replies (7) Good night (2342) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.

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  (402): My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing. http://tfl.nu/h7oz
  Replies (6) Good night (1126) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.

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  (720): I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation. http://tfl.nu/ssju
  Replies (5) Good night (963) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Still dying that you shit outside

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  (267): Still dying that you shit outside http://tfl.nu/a3uv
  Replies (5) Good night (364) Bad night (230)

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