I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
