He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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