I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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