Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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