i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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