What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
