she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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