Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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