ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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