it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
