Having a random hookup so left but love u
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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