What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize