Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
he's gonorrhea incarnate
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
