ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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