but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
