there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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