yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
birth control should be required to get into college
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
