I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize