and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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