Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
