theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
