My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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