Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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