Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
