She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
