Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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