The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
