chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
